Stay at home moms seem to be getting a bad rap. Believe me when I say that staying at home is much harder and the hours are much longer then most people realize. The stay at home mom’s work day is not 9:00 – 5:00, they are on duty 24 hours a day.
When my kids were young I was a stay at home mom, and I resented when people would tell me how lucky I was because I didn’t have to “work” What did they think I was doing all day? I certainly was not sitting in my PJ’s lying on the couch watching television and eating bonbons. My day began at 6:00 a.m. when my first child would wake up, then I had to tend to him while making breakfast and lunches for my other kids who were going to school. After driving my older kids to school, I had to clean, make beds, do laundry, prepare a menu for dinner, run errands, I think you get the picture.
Stay at home moms are more than just a mother, they are cooks, maids, chefs, accountants, bankers, doctors, chauffeurs, dog walkers, therapists, teachers, party planners, decorators and much more, all rolled into one. Their days are just as busy and just as stimulating as a mother who chooses to work outside of the house. The mothers who do not stay at home hire people to do exactly what a stay at home mother does. They hire a nanny or send their kids to daycare so that their children will be well taken care of. Many of them also have cleaning woman or a cleaning company do the house work that they really don’t have the time to do. So how ironic is it that hiring people to do the same thing that a stay at home mom does is acceptable, yet if a mother decides to do it on her own, she is considered non-working? How crazy is that? And to top it off, the stay at home mom doesn’t even get paid for her work!
Whoever says that a stay at home mom is lazy,(which I just heard on The Anderson Cooper Show) has never had the experience of being a full time mother, and I use the words “full time” because it really is a full time JOB.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for woman who work outside of the house. For some woman it is what they prefer to do, and for others they just don’t have the choice. We can’t judge these woman, we can’t say that they are neglecting their children, it wouldn’t be a fair statement. My sister always worked outside of the house. She had a nanny who was wonderful with her kids, and she made sure that she was home every night and on weekends. Her kids grew up to be self sufficient, lovely adults. Her working outside of the house did not hinder her kids in any way. I was a stay at home mother, and my kids are also self sufficient and well adjusted so they didn’t suffer, nor did they feel less ambitious because they saw that I was a stay at home mom. It’s interesting though how people continued to think that my sister worked so hard, and that I had it easy.
My point to all of this is, there is no right or wrong when it comes to being a stay at home mom, or being a mom who works outside of the home. We all have responsibilities, stimulation, deadlines, calls to make, people to meet, it’s just that our places of work are different. Unfortunately there is one very big difference, and that is many people have the notion that if you stay at home with your kids you have no ambition, it’s almost laughable, and very disrespectful to all of the mothers who choose to work at home. For someone with no “ambition”, I started my own company, and worked full time while doing it. All of this from a woman who chose to stay at home to raise her kids. Who’d of thought!